In Like a Lion--Out Like a Lamb

So my first annoyance is that blogger definitely doesn't have arabic typesetting as a font, which if you didnt know, is my favorite. I know that is the lamest way to start a blog after three months of not writing, which I am deeply and truly sorry for. A lot has happened, I can't believe time just kind of flew past me.

I am about to be in the last semester of my senior year! I can't believe it...graduation, prom, the whole thing it's almost here. And I have finally decided upon University of Kentucky. They offered a small scholarship but I think I'll be really happy there. I picked a girl from GA to room with, I met her in the UK class of 2013 group on facebook she seems great. I just didn't want to go random. I am think majoring exercise science for pre-physical therapy, communication disorders for pre-speech pathology or elementary education. Back to high school though, I think I have found my perfect prom dress! I am going to try in on this weekend.

Speaking on clothes and trying things on, I went shopping this past weekend because I have now lost almost 40 lbs. Yes, I know WOAH! It's amazing. I feel so much better. I have 26 more lbs to lose to be at a healthy weight range for my height but I am officially out of the obese category. My goal is to be at a healthy weight by the time I leave for college. That will mean 66 lbs! AHHH! I have already lost 2 sizes so hopefully another 2 are to be lost as well.

I have been in this mood to write again lately, I don't know whether it's like a yearning to write like a short story or poetry. I wrote a poem for the first time in a year about 2 weeks ago, it felt good. We'll see if I crank anything out here soon.

Things have been going alright for the most part. I am working with special education children at my high school as well as the elementary school, I love it so much at the elementary school. It is the high light of my day. My parents have been separated for almost 6 weeks now and its looking like a divorce but I am actually okay with that. I am about to go to a big science competition, I went to one a couple of weeks ago and placed in 3 categories. I am also going to be 18 in less than 3 weeks yay!

I also just got laid off/fired my boss was clear that I wouldn't be coming back unless a improvement plan was made but I don't think it will be since that would require changing who I am, but it's only telemarketing 6 hours a week so who cares. I am going on a job hunt.

I think that is all the news I have for now.

xoabbyt.

There goes my hero...he's ordinary.

Alright, so I realize it's been quite sometime since I have used this thing, so all I have to say is wow. I don't even know where to begin.

Well I got accepted into UK so I'll be there next fall, and I am so excited for that. I think I'm going to rush so that will be good fun. I would say good clean fun, but you never know what'll happen.

So where to go next with this...

I think that the closest thing I have to a best friend at the moment is a wonderful girl I met through postsecret named renee. Seriously. It may sound weird, but it works. Alright so Ali and I..I dont know she just doesn't return my calls. Shelby claims I'm frustrating and refuses to speak. Ariana and I are all off and there like this wall between us. Taryn...I don't even know I think thats pretty much dissolved. Emily and I have always been close but I know I just I still can't seem to stop wondering about the real definition of best friend anyway. So I have been pretty much a loner for a while.

I also kind of shut a lot people out. I have good reason, it will just take time for me to explain it all. I had a pretty traumatic experience. I am not ready to really "talk," unless you're name happens to be renee and then I will keep you up til 4 am so that I'm not alone in the dark haha :). But seriously, if I have seemed distant, its because I have been. I am just not ready to go there yet.

I have been heavily relying on God, which has been very nice. He has become my only means of breathing. Everytime I breath in and breath out I never know if I'll be able to do it again, He keeps me breating. He keeps me safe. I feel His presence more now than ever, and all that I have comes from Him. Like the strength of even pushing myself out of bed in the morning.

I think I'll be stronger though, I know I will be. I know it will all be ok. But right now I just don't want to be alone, that's probably my biggest fear.

Alright so, what else? I have been losing weight and it's paying off Im in my goal jeans. Well my first goal jeans. I have made it through the first obstacle. I have a long way to go, but I'm doing this for the sake of my health just being healthy. I don't have to be skinny, just in shape and healthy.

Love life...lets not even discuss boys. There's always the off and on with summer boy. Right now we're friends, I love having a great guy friend. I would love him to be more, if we could have that summer back. But I don't know I guess things will play out the way they are meant to in the end.

I don't know what else there is to say. I have just been trying to get to know myself, I have a lot of time to think. I don't really care about grades much anymore. I mean if I pull some A's and some B's I'm happy It doesn't have to be perfect anymore. Nothing is perfect, and I am not in control.

So I gotta keep on keepin' on, I suppose.

xoabbyt.

It's coming down to nothing more than apathy

Okay so this week has been a little off, well compared to my norms. Shall I explain, you ask? Why not! I have nothing better to do than to blog about my amazing boring life ha. Sorry for the extra pinch over sarcasm today, I'm really not myself. You see I have cluster migraines and usually taking my meds, sleeping, and a hot washclothe will fix that...not this time! I have had a migraine for 3 days! Let me just say that is miserable in case you haven't ever had one. Mine is so bad it has caused nausea, dizziness, and made me really weak. I went to a clinic, because I don't have a doctor at the moment, but they gave me a muscle relaxor and a pain killer. I will go see a doctor next week but for now I am just uber drowsy and draggy. I feel like I should get up and do something but I don't the endurance or stamina. I am also very noise and light sensitive, which is just awesome since the world has to have light and there is always going to be noise. I haven't really done much for the past few days to sum it up since I have been pretty lazy.

On to something not anymore exciting but possibly less whiny. I haven't really gotten anything accomplished but I'm going to try to do that today. I did send in my applications to UK and UofL, the only schools I am applying to. I pray I am accepted into UK. My dream is to be there in the middle of Lexington this time next year. I am not really sure as to what to major, I have this huge book on majors and I mean I am considering quite a few possibilities so we'll see. I have thought about: poltical science, sociology, occupational therapy, economics, linguistics, public relations, and maybe a foreign language. One of those, hey at least I have it decently narrowed down. I'm just praying it all works out for me to be there and be in Commonwealth stadium screaming C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS!

What is exciting is Taylor Swifts new album! It blows me away, I mean it seriously made my jaw drop. She is so incredibly talented. I wish I could play guitar as well as she can. Chords are a breeze...for the most part, but I can't pick at all. I would be really greatful if i could learn, but we're talking about Taylor here. So she has really evolved her sound. It's still her but it just has this matured sound to it. I watched her on her myspace doing a live video chat and she is just so real. She didn't try to dress up or get mad if something messed up, she just laughed at herself when something went wrong. Seriously though, I know my blog only gets looked at by maybe 1 person a week but YOU should go get her new album.

I am so in love with my laptop and my new cell phone. They are the best! I love having texting, it is seriously the best. So if your looking for a new laptop I recommend the Dell Studio 15, and as for a new cell phone the LG Shine is very reliable. I wish I had waited 2 weeks and gotten the Samsung Propel because it looks amazing, its like a blackjack that is a slider. So there's my technology reviews for the week.

I think I am way tangled up into One Tree Hill and Grey's Anatomy this season. I have always been a huge follower but this season is a big deal for both of them. Both of them are in their 5 season. I have all of the Grey's on dvd and when Im sick, like now, or I am having a bad day I put in one of the discs and watch all of the episode on that disc. I have been doing that for 3 days now, I have seen the all the seasons of Grey's over 10 times. I can quote most lines, but I just like it...alot okay.

I received a letter from my little girl in Hondouras that I sponsor. She is so amazing. Her 10th birthday is in less than a month. She is such a huge encouragement to me. I write her back too and she always tells me how for her, when she has a bad day she re-reads my letters. I think it is such a reward to be able to help support her. I sponsor her through a group called Compassion. Its a committment of 34 dollars a month but it gets her doctor bills, dental bills, school, gets her to church, helps her family afford food, and a portion is saved each month to go to a christmas gift. Her family makes about 8 dollars a month and she has 5 other siblings so I feel like I make a difference for her, and I know she makes a difference for me.

So I think to sum it up I am really sick of being sick and my head hurting. Taylor Swift's album is incredible and YOU must buy it! I want to go to UK so bad. I love sponoring my child. Grey's Antomy and One Tree Hill=Life. Oh and Sophia Bush from One Tree Hill is pretty awesome too. We didn't talk about love life, but there's still nothing there. However I think I know who I might ask to prom so thats exciting. I have my first weigh in at Curves next wednesday so we'll see how much progress I have made in a month. I set a new record for our curves, most calories burned in 1 workout--in 30 minutes I burned 650 calories.

Now I am going to get on my giant to do list and try to get something accomplished, but thats unlikely.

xoabbyt.

Macaroni Noodles

I was looking at my blog for the first time in a month laughing at one of my top things. Can you guess it? I said I was happy gas was in the $3.30's! HA! Gas is $1.92 now and I couldn't be happier. I cant fill my tank for under twenty dollars, Im still shocked when it stops before it even hits twenty.

Things have been rough lately. I have had my ups and downs that for sure. I don't come from the greatest family. Sometimes I think they try but I don't know how much more effort they could put forth. I have done really well with coping with it all and I have been going 10 months strong. I have to count on other people sometime to hold me up when I get weak but I think I am finally realizing I can't do it all on my own.

I have been getting back into the depths of my relationship with Christ as well. I began having one on one time again and it's been really good for me. I don't know why but sometimes I just walk away until I turn around and run right back.

I have finished my college applications. I only applies to two schools, my top choice and my back up--UK and UofL. I pray that this time next year I will be in Lexington, the best city ever, and at UK. It has everything I want. I am not compromising anything for it. UofL I would be but hopefully I can make UK work out. I have quite a few scholarships I'm applying for and I really need to get a few of them. I also am taking the ACT again in December and really need to pull 3 points higher, a 28. This would really help ease the financial burden on my parents because $15,800 is no where near what I call cheap.

I have been trying to get healthy lately. I have been at it for 2 weeks now and so far so good. I have made a lot of changes to my eating habits and what I eat. I also joined Curves which has been a tremendous step for me. It kicks my butt but it will make me better for it. I have a long way to go but so far I have lost 2.5 lbs. I don't want to get skinny although being able to see a single digit on jeans again would be nice and fitting into a pair of hollister jeans would be out of this world. But all I know if that I want to look and feel good. I would kill to be able to buy a bikini when its swimsuit season, I never have bought one but for now Im a long way a way. I am taking it one 10 lbs block at a time. I am hoping to look and feel great at prom and graduation and in a 1 piece when I lifegaurd next summer. Im not asking for the perfect body or abs I just know I can do this and I need to do this. I love doing outdoor activities I need to be more active. I don't exactly have the best family medical history, plus I don't want to give my kids the start I got off to.

Also I would love to find a guy who is very much an outdoors person. Rapelling, skiing, whitewater rafting, hiking, camping, kayaking, and more. I am all about the outdoors. I don't get to do it enough but I love it when I do. When I am in shape I will be able to do it more and have a better time with it. I also love most sports anyway. Lacrosse, football, soccer, baseball, basketball, tennis. I am a pretty big sports buff. I also love action movies because of the adrenaline rush. Anything that gives you an adrenaline rush Im game for. I would love to try sky diving sometime but for now I just stick to the biggest, baddest rollar coasters I can find at amusement parks. I don't do the sissy rides I just do rollar coasters and the water park.

The love life is still at a 0 but I am okay with that. Not completely of course but I love this year at school. I have really branched out and became friends with a lot of guys. That has been...interesting. I say hi to so many people when I walk through the halls its amazing. This year is definitely the best. I can't wait for it to be over so I can start UK but at the same time I don't want to grow up. I am alright with the single factor because I don't want it to be with someone random, I want that adventurous outsdoors guy which I doubt Ill meet 'til I get in shape and become more outdoorsy and adventurous. I also probably won't meet him until college, which is fine by me since I didn't really want to be tied down for my senior year anyway. The one thing I do worry about though is...prom date. That will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

I don't think anything else really exciting has happened. I am really going to try to update this more but no garuntees I stay pretty busy. Wish me luck & I'll keep you guys updates.

xoabbyt.

Playlist of my teenage life

Everything has been going pretty well. I made all A's on my report card, I didn't think that was even possible. I'm getting terribly nervous about having to make a choice on college. I am applying to NKU, UofL, and UK so it's not like there are just too many it's that I like them all.

On to something I don't already spend 50% of my blogs blogging about. The love life is still dormant but I actually kind of enjoy being single. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't mind if a great guy walked into my life but I'm not going to go searching him out.

I have made a lot of new friends lately. I am so thankful for that. This year I have been able to become friends with guys a lot easier. I also met an amazing girl who is a foreign exchange student from China. Then I have a great new friend from my anatomy class, she's pretty amazing. We're really similiar on every subject except politics. Her brother is 2 years older than I am but I'm begging her to hook me up, I think we'd have a lot in common too, not to mention he's very good looking.

I have had a pinched nerve in my back which really stinks but I finally found a patch that helps it, I hope it will go away soon.

I love being on fall break it is so nice to not be under piles of homework but I know this time next week I'll be right back under them. BOO.

That's about all thats new. Not to exciting I know but maybe after this week or a couple weeks I'll have an interesting story for you to read.

I highly recommend seeing Nick and Norahs Infinite Playlist--great movie!

xoabbyt.