Also at that time, people will say, "Look at what's happened! This is our God! We waited for him and he showed up and saved us! This God, the one we waited for! Let's celebrate, sing the joys of his salvation. God's hand rests on this mountain!"
Isaiah 25:9
Praise be to the King of Kings, that's all there is to say. Again and again, over and over, a million times declare it. God has blessed me immeasurably these past couple of months, after what seems like season after seaon of trials and darkness in my life. But finally there is light, there is laughter, and there is praise. I have to confess before Aug. 08 I wasn't being real with God, I wasn't giving him my all. I didn't treat him as a bride should her husband, as a friend should treat another-- not until August. Even when that moment in August arrived it was extremely hard to lay down 17 and half years worth of "stuff," just useless junk I had built my life on and filled my heart with. But slowly the Potter remolded my heart, remolding the clay of my heart. I got it right this time, building on Jesus walking with him daily. It is a real relationship with intimate moments shared between just the two of us and I love getting to share every moment of every day with Him. The remolding of my heart took me through some extremely trying times in my life. I thought I had seen the darkest days in my life just one year exactly before this life-changing event, but this broke my spirit and soul and crushed my heart. I felt the flame I had burning for Jesus was nothing but embers and then I realized that He was all I had left and began clinging with all that I had left of my heart, spirit, and soul. When I made the decision to allow him to heal me and see me in my brokeness he held me like a father hold's a child for the first time, and whispered that it would all be okay (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). I couldn't whole-heartedly believe this promise but I trusted my Jesus still. I knew that there was a reason and a purpose for these darkened days, there was going to be a rainbow after the storm. After I was able to begin dealing with people again, I made the decision to seek counseling. I saw a counselor from December until March every week. I also was put on anti-depressants which were the best thing for me at the time. I continued my daily walk with my Savior and began slowly to adapting again to the social world around me. God was doing things in me I wasn't even realizing, but he was giving me strength, His strength (Ephesians 3:16). He pieced my heart back together in four short months, in the arrangement He would have it. He rejuvinated my soul, refreshing it with His holy words and promises. But most of all he changed my spirit, for God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). In March, just before my 18th birthday, I talked to my counselor and doctor and came to an agreement...it was time to come off of the anti-depessants. In those three months without anti-depressants, life has been good--scratch that--great! I have been the happiest I think I have ever been in my life. I believe that is thanks to Jesus and learning a good lesson, take in the small things they add up to the biggest things--like happiness. I love gorgeous Kentucky sunsets, praise songs, old couples taking walks together, waving at my neighbors, smiling at customers, birds that fly and chirp, the fountains at the river front, my amazing family, running til sweat is running down my face, and waking up with a smile on my face every morning. Life is good thanks to so many people helping me through these hard times to make it to the good ones. Some of you didn't even know you were helping, but like I said it's the small things. So thank you, all of you. As for now, I have a new season in my life that is just beginning and it's looking rather bright and promising. I whole-heartedly trust God and the plans he has for my life (Jeremiah 29:11-13). This school-year I got to put a quote in the yearbook since I was a Senior, I chose a beautiful quote by Robert Frost: "If I can sum up everything I've learned about life in three words I would say: it goes on." Again thank you to everyone who helped me make it through this year, I love you all. Remember tomorrows a new day, to take it the small things, and that there is hope. Praise God (Psalm 40)! After looking at the way things are on this earth, here's what I've decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that's about it. That's the human lot. Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what's given and delighting in the work. It's God's gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now. It's useless to brood over how long we might live. Ecclesiastes 5:18
