I don't even know where to begin. You have no idea how much can happen in 10 days.
Let's start with the good stuff...I like to hear the good news before the bad.
I am really proud of myself. This year I have really put everything behind me and let the past live in the past. A lot of people who I considered "enemies" are now friends of mine. Also I have never been good at having guy friends but this year I have quite a few. I am trying to really focus of my studies this year. I have joined about 4 clubs which I will really try to dedicate myself to.
I may have a job, Ill know for sure after this week is over. So thats a plus. It would only be 6 hours a week, and I would make atleast 42 dollars more than likely around 70 so thats some extra spending/gas money.
I am set on UK however when it comes to majors I have no idea. Im considering Political Science, Linguistics, and Foreign Languages more than anything else but Im going in as undeclared...as well as 3 hours shy of being a sophomore. I may try to take a summer course at the community college just so I can full be a sophomore.
I don't have any crazy love life boy drama which is such a nice change. No point in getting attached before going off to college.
I still really love all of my classes, I dont know if Ill love them so much after my first test grade but we'll see. My hardest class is Organic Chem. I am really enjoying Anatomy and Art. Both are classes I just thought Id be apathetic about. English isn't too challenging, but it's about to get harder and harder I can tell. I hope I can make it through that class alright.
I am starting to figure some things out about my beliefs. I think I was just a crossroads, a point where all I had was blindness. I have started trying to read the bible to figure out some answers. I am going to church tomorrow for the first time in over a month. I know a lot of people really care about me and I am so thankful to have amazing people like that in my life. My wondering heart is beginning to emerge from the darkness. One thing I can say is that if I do fall on the path I was on before I will believe whole heartedly and I will not act the same. I didnt think I put people below me, but I did. I will not make that same mistake.
Ali is leaning more and more toward UK which makes me really happy. I would so love to be at the same place together. I miss her terribly. I am just really thankful we take the time to talk most everyday. She is one of the biggest blessings in my life, and she is my best friend.
I think that covers the good.
I am in such a good mood I dont even want to discuss the bad so I'll leave it at that and let all of you be happy as well.
I am so excited to see how my senior year plays out. I need to get my camera battery charged and start taking tons of pictures.
To all of you who care about me and take the time to read this, I appreciate it and you mean a lot to me.
Enjoy the 3 day weekend!
xoabbyt.
8.30.2008
8.17.2008
The Lion Sleeps Tonight
Things have been improving since my last blog, in case you were wondering. It was just a really crappy day. I just didn't feel like I had a lot of hope that day. Things are pretty peachy right about now though. Its been a good weekend.
I spent the night with my friend S on friday, on saturday we went shopping. I got this adorable dresss and 2 pair of jeans. I also bought 2 pair of sunglasses and a ring. My favorite item had to be my new back pack. Am I a nerd or what? No but seriously this backpack is so awesome. It is Zebra Print! My sister-in-law got me addicted to Zebra print. By the way, it is really in right now so you too should jump on the band wagon. But its really cute plus it has pink zippers and stitching so that adds to just how fabulous it truly is.
We played wii for a while and then went to the best mexican resteraunt you will ever eat at...Los Toribios. We rented Vantage Point, which I highly reccomend. It was a very good action/thriller. We watched this documentary about high school students in china to kill sometime because we were going to sneak out and go play a prank but we got tired. So we were like we'll wake up in the middle of the night and do it, but we didnt we were so tired.
I have basically been doing homework all day. I have a test everyday until thursday boo! I really need to start figuring out a way to balance everything better. I am going to call about this job and hopefully get a little extra spending money yay!! I do have homework it's just not a terribly taxing amount. I couldnt have to work everyday but a few nights wouldn't be awful.
I am still pretty set on UK, I think I'm going to stay with Ali, who all of you know is my wise friend. She does exsists by the way, she thinks I make her sound like my invisible yoda or something. She lives in lexington so I will do another tour when I see her.
I will keep promoting Obama on my blog, so if your a McCain fan Im sorry. You will only have to hear about it until november 4. On november 5th hopefully I will get to write a very happy blog.
One thing I hate about being friends with guys is mixed signals. Either you both like each other or one of you does. There is always confusion as to which one it is though. I feel like in the situation Im in, that it is both but I dont want to be wrong.
Last night I got my first drunk dial call. It was interesting to say the least.
Postsecret is really good this week, if you don't know what it is you really need to check it out.
www.postsecret.com
Tomorrow night Im going to see the governor speak, I am so excited. I am such a politics geek. I really think Political Science would be a perfect major for me. Who knows maybe I'll be the governor one day, or maybe a lawyer.
I really believe you should follow your dreams no matter what. If they seem impossible, they probably are but if you work at it, I truly believe even the impossible can come true. I'm going to work toward my dream of doing something to better every person. I want to help my county, I love America. I want to see our country as the giant melting pot it was meant to be. I want to see America rise to the top again, because I believe that it is possible. I want to be part of that change.
I think thats all of the random rants I have.
Other than I love where I am at in my life right now.
I hate that my sims isn't working.
I'll be really glad when I can be done with the Invisible Man.
I am super excited for the new fall season of tv shows to start.
I am in love with the olympics.
I don't know if any of this helped or mattered but you can always leave a comment to let me know what you think. I think I can take constructive criticism.
xoabbyt.
I spent the night with my friend S on friday, on saturday we went shopping. I got this adorable dresss and 2 pair of jeans. I also bought 2 pair of sunglasses and a ring. My favorite item had to be my new back pack. Am I a nerd or what? No but seriously this backpack is so awesome. It is Zebra Print! My sister-in-law got me addicted to Zebra print. By the way, it is really in right now so you too should jump on the band wagon. But its really cute plus it has pink zippers and stitching so that adds to just how fabulous it truly is.
We played wii for a while and then went to the best mexican resteraunt you will ever eat at...Los Toribios. We rented Vantage Point, which I highly reccomend. It was a very good action/thriller. We watched this documentary about high school students in china to kill sometime because we were going to sneak out and go play a prank but we got tired. So we were like we'll wake up in the middle of the night and do it, but we didnt we were so tired.
I have basically been doing homework all day. I have a test everyday until thursday boo! I really need to start figuring out a way to balance everything better. I am going to call about this job and hopefully get a little extra spending money yay!! I do have homework it's just not a terribly taxing amount. I couldnt have to work everyday but a few nights wouldn't be awful.
I am still pretty set on UK, I think I'm going to stay with Ali, who all of you know is my wise friend. She does exsists by the way, she thinks I make her sound like my invisible yoda or something. She lives in lexington so I will do another tour when I see her.
I will keep promoting Obama on my blog, so if your a McCain fan Im sorry. You will only have to hear about it until november 4. On november 5th hopefully I will get to write a very happy blog.
One thing I hate about being friends with guys is mixed signals. Either you both like each other or one of you does. There is always confusion as to which one it is though. I feel like in the situation Im in, that it is both but I dont want to be wrong.
Last night I got my first drunk dial call. It was interesting to say the least.
Postsecret is really good this week, if you don't know what it is you really need to check it out.
www.postsecret.com
Tomorrow night Im going to see the governor speak, I am so excited. I am such a politics geek. I really think Political Science would be a perfect major for me. Who knows maybe I'll be the governor one day, or maybe a lawyer.
I really believe you should follow your dreams no matter what. If they seem impossible, they probably are but if you work at it, I truly believe even the impossible can come true. I'm going to work toward my dream of doing something to better every person. I want to help my county, I love America. I want to see our country as the giant melting pot it was meant to be. I want to see America rise to the top again, because I believe that it is possible. I want to be part of that change.
I think thats all of the random rants I have.
Other than I love where I am at in my life right now.
I hate that my sims isn't working.
I'll be really glad when I can be done with the Invisible Man.
I am super excited for the new fall season of tv shows to start.
I am in love with the olympics.
I don't know if any of this helped or mattered but you can always leave a comment to let me know what you think. I think I can take constructive criticism.
xoabbyt.
8.14.2008
Confusionism
Today is not a good day at all. I feel like I'm a nobody when I walk through those halls, but when it comes to the talk of the halls man, I'm everybody. When I returned from wku I was the talk of all talk. It died down over the summer. It's back
This time about the stupidest thing. My personal life--my religion. Apparently before I was what is being deemed as "super religious". Now, like coming out of the gay closet, I have apparently declared my atheism. It has spread from freshman to senior. The thing is thats not exactly true. I am what I have termed as confusionism. I do not accept nor reject religion. I do care, but I am trying to figure things out for myself, instead of consuming what has been spoonfed to me for 17 years. I don't know what I really believe about God so I dont want to still say Im christian and act like a hypocrite or I could just say I am confused and try to figure it out. But not in my small town, but huge high school. No, not for me. I have to be at the top of the gossip chain.
A lot of you may not agree with me being upset about this but I am so this is just me venting how I feel.
I am just so annoyed, offended, ashamed, and confused.
I thought about ending my 6 months, for the first time since but I didnt. Im just walking around in the dark. I dont feel like there are tangible answers to any of this.
Not to help my day a pretty good friend of mine was in a really bad car wreck today. Luckily he is alive. He flipped he expedition 3 times and broke 2 vertebrae in his back. He also has a concussion. He wont have to go through surgery but he is on bedrest for 2 weeks and he will have a back brace for 3 months and probably have to endure some physical therapy. My graduating high school class has seen 6 deaths. I am so sick of car wrecks.
That brings me to my next point.
Im fed up with immaturity, you may think the way I feel is immature so Im sorry if that is the case. I just Im ready to graduate and go start my like at UK, far far away.
Im over highschool, the drama, the shallowness, the racism, the conceitedness, the immaturity, the stupidity, the carelessness, the apathy.
I just dont know what I believe, there for I am a confusionist. I will try not to think about those thoughts.
No promises, no garuntees in the outcome.
xoabbyt.
This time about the stupidest thing. My personal life--my religion. Apparently before I was what is being deemed as "super religious". Now, like coming out of the gay closet, I have apparently declared my atheism. It has spread from freshman to senior. The thing is thats not exactly true. I am what I have termed as confusionism. I do not accept nor reject religion. I do care, but I am trying to figure things out for myself, instead of consuming what has been spoonfed to me for 17 years. I don't know what I really believe about God so I dont want to still say Im christian and act like a hypocrite or I could just say I am confused and try to figure it out. But not in my small town, but huge high school. No, not for me. I have to be at the top of the gossip chain.
A lot of you may not agree with me being upset about this but I am so this is just me venting how I feel.
I am just so annoyed, offended, ashamed, and confused.
I thought about ending my 6 months, for the first time since but I didnt. Im just walking around in the dark. I dont feel like there are tangible answers to any of this.
Not to help my day a pretty good friend of mine was in a really bad car wreck today. Luckily he is alive. He flipped he expedition 3 times and broke 2 vertebrae in his back. He also has a concussion. He wont have to go through surgery but he is on bedrest for 2 weeks and he will have a back brace for 3 months and probably have to endure some physical therapy. My graduating high school class has seen 6 deaths. I am so sick of car wrecks.
That brings me to my next point.
Im fed up with immaturity, you may think the way I feel is immature so Im sorry if that is the case. I just Im ready to graduate and go start my like at UK, far far away.
Im over highschool, the drama, the shallowness, the racism, the conceitedness, the immaturity, the stupidity, the carelessness, the apathy.
I just dont know what I believe, there for I am a confusionist. I will try not to think about those thoughts.
No promises, no garuntees in the outcome.
xoabbyt.
8.13.2008
I hope
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHEO_fG3mm4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghSJsEVf0pU
Check the video, Listen closely, Take it to heart, Register, Vote, Make a Difference, Change the World.
This is something you need to see. This empowers me, it encourages me to have faith in a nation I believe so much. So to U.S.A., YES WE CAN!
I believe in a better tomorrow, in a better future. I believe in change. I believe in my generation. I believe in hope. I believe that our problems have solutions. I believe in diversity. I believe in unity. I believe in someone who believes in me.
What do you believe?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghSJsEVf0pU
Check the video, Listen closely, Take it to heart, Register, Vote, Make a Difference, Change the World.
This is something you need to see. This empowers me, it encourages me to have faith in a nation I believe so much. So to U.S.A., YES WE CAN!
I believe in a better tomorrow, in a better future. I believe in change. I believe in my generation. I believe in hope. I believe that our problems have solutions. I believe in diversity. I believe in unity. I believe in someone who believes in me.
What do you believe?
8.11.2008
Folsom Prison Blues
I truly have become a blogging addict. I love it! It's such a fantastic way to vent what I need to. Some of you stumble across my blog randomly while others check it to keep posted on what's going on in my life. So thanks for reading :).
I want to make one note on the previous blog. Someone suggested today that I should be titles agnostic, but that would mean I believe in a higher power but don't worship it. I don't even know if I believe there is a "higher power" so I would like to be called neither atheist nor agnostic...I think the word confused will fit. Maybe I should just make a new word for all the people like me out there, because I know I can't be the only one to ever feel this way and go through this kind of experience.
Homework is beginning it's consumption of my life. I have quite a bit to read tonight as well as a quiz everyday for the next week. Then Im sure many tests will come. I think I have enough of a challenge without killing myself, but I must say I don't have all that much slack that you would expect for a senior.
I am counting down the days, there are 168 of them left HOORAH!
In Grey's Anatomy Meredith Grey does a voiceover saying "I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you make a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true: that by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor."
You're probably wondering why in the world I would quote that. It is because I believe it to be truth. Humans are naturally and instinctively driven by fear. Sometimes it is a good fear that motivates us. Like fear of heart disease if we gain anymore weight, so we beginning excercising. There's also many unhealthy fears. Fear of failure. Perfectionist's, like myself, almost always live with a fear of this. Because of this in many cases and situations we don't try. We don't try to become an astronaut because we think we would make a better teacher or that we aren't good enough to get in law school so why bother.
The fear that consumes most seniors at one point or another during their senior year is the fear of making a decision. Ali, my wise friend, noted that the decision of your choice of continuing education impacts almost everything for the rest of your life. It can depend on what you make, what jobs are available to you, what opportunities you have, your networking, your spouse, your kids, where you will live, all of this and more. Just because of where you decided to study for college. I don't know about you but that is a bit overwhelming. The thing is we have to trust our gut. We have to wholeheartedly believe we made the right decision in which ever we choose because if we don't we begin to look for reasons why we shouldn't have gone with this. We begin to compare it to where we could have been. We wonder what our lives would be like if only we had chosen the other school.
I have a hard time with this myself, seeing as I have never been a person to really just go with my gut but I am growing up and I need to do more of that. People with dissapoint you again and again, religion may come up short, and philosophies can only help us to begint o understand ourselves and the world around us. You have to put faith in yourself. You have to know that you are doing what's best for you. I wrestle with this everyday, trying desperately to conquer the other side of me that wants to believe everyone but myself.
In my heart I really believe UK is where I am suppose to be. I am going to follow my heart, are you?
I have 2 more things to address before I let you slip back into reality. I have a lovely note to Fallon.
Dear Bunny/Neuna(pronounced Noo-Nuh),
Your note once again was boring. I can't believe it is so hard for you to try and change your style of writing thats so funny to me. I hope I remember to meet you tomorrow and give you Cole's necklace thing. I know you didn't say anything, I promise I trust you 100%. After I read your note I felt bad for not going to get food, you could have told me. It's just I was going to talk to...well you know. I love how in your note your all like ohh J I like him so much and then you get in my car and are like I think we're through. You need to pick one! Im going to be really sad when the icy place closes for the rest of the year :(. Im sorry I know my note is rather boring too. Oh and if you want a ride my car will be a little closer to school since iM getting there earlier so just let me know if you want to or not when I meet you tomorrow.
I love you!!
Finally I want to post what I believe is the Class of '09 Song. I think it really sums up what/who we are. It talks about celebrating and overcoming. Making it through. Although we have 168 days to go I think this is going to be my song for the Class of '09, enjoy.
Change: Taylor Swift
It's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted
again, you know it's all the same
Another time and place
Repeating history your getting sick of it.
But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything
To see it through
Because these things
Will change, we can feel it now
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution
That's how we'll come
Who we're supposed to be
We'll sing hallelujah We'll sing hallelujah Oh
So you've been out numbered
Raided, out cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
You're getting stronger now find things they never found
They might be better but we're faster
And never scared
You can walk away say that we don't need this
There's something in your eyes says we can beat this
Because these things will change we can feel it now
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution it's how we'll become who we're
We'll sing hallelujah We'll sing hallelujah Oh
Tonight we're standing on our feet to fight for what we worked
For all these years the battle of long it's the fight of our lives
We'll stand up champions tonight
And it's the night things changed
We can see it now these walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution throw your hands up
Cause we never gave in
We'll sing hallelujah We'll sang hallelujah
Hallelujah
I want to make one note on the previous blog. Someone suggested today that I should be titles agnostic, but that would mean I believe in a higher power but don't worship it. I don't even know if I believe there is a "higher power" so I would like to be called neither atheist nor agnostic...I think the word confused will fit. Maybe I should just make a new word for all the people like me out there, because I know I can't be the only one to ever feel this way and go through this kind of experience.
Homework is beginning it's consumption of my life. I have quite a bit to read tonight as well as a quiz everyday for the next week. Then Im sure many tests will come. I think I have enough of a challenge without killing myself, but I must say I don't have all that much slack that you would expect for a senior.
I am counting down the days, there are 168 of them left HOORAH!
In Grey's Anatomy Meredith Grey does a voiceover saying "I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you make a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true: that by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor."
You're probably wondering why in the world I would quote that. It is because I believe it to be truth. Humans are naturally and instinctively driven by fear. Sometimes it is a good fear that motivates us. Like fear of heart disease if we gain anymore weight, so we beginning excercising. There's also many unhealthy fears. Fear of failure. Perfectionist's, like myself, almost always live with a fear of this. Because of this in many cases and situations we don't try. We don't try to become an astronaut because we think we would make a better teacher or that we aren't good enough to get in law school so why bother.
The fear that consumes most seniors at one point or another during their senior year is the fear of making a decision. Ali, my wise friend, noted that the decision of your choice of continuing education impacts almost everything for the rest of your life. It can depend on what you make, what jobs are available to you, what opportunities you have, your networking, your spouse, your kids, where you will live, all of this and more. Just because of where you decided to study for college. I don't know about you but that is a bit overwhelming. The thing is we have to trust our gut. We have to wholeheartedly believe we made the right decision in which ever we choose because if we don't we begin to look for reasons why we shouldn't have gone with this. We begin to compare it to where we could have been. We wonder what our lives would be like if only we had chosen the other school.
I have a hard time with this myself, seeing as I have never been a person to really just go with my gut but I am growing up and I need to do more of that. People with dissapoint you again and again, religion may come up short, and philosophies can only help us to begint o understand ourselves and the world around us. You have to put faith in yourself. You have to know that you are doing what's best for you. I wrestle with this everyday, trying desperately to conquer the other side of me that wants to believe everyone but myself.
In my heart I really believe UK is where I am suppose to be. I am going to follow my heart, are you?
I have 2 more things to address before I let you slip back into reality. I have a lovely note to Fallon.
Dear Bunny/Neuna(pronounced Noo-Nuh),
Your note once again was boring. I can't believe it is so hard for you to try and change your style of writing thats so funny to me. I hope I remember to meet you tomorrow and give you Cole's necklace thing. I know you didn't say anything, I promise I trust you 100%. After I read your note I felt bad for not going to get food, you could have told me. It's just I was going to talk to...well you know. I love how in your note your all like ohh J I like him so much and then you get in my car and are like I think we're through. You need to pick one! Im going to be really sad when the icy place closes for the rest of the year :(. Im sorry I know my note is rather boring too. Oh and if you want a ride my car will be a little closer to school since iM getting there earlier so just let me know if you want to or not when I meet you tomorrow.
I love you!!
Finally I want to post what I believe is the Class of '09 Song. I think it really sums up what/who we are. It talks about celebrating and overcoming. Making it through. Although we have 168 days to go I think this is going to be my song for the Class of '09, enjoy.
Change: Taylor Swift
It's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted
again, you know it's all the same
Another time and place
Repeating history your getting sick of it.
But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything
To see it through
Because these things
Will change, we can feel it now
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution
That's how we'll come
Who we're supposed to be
We'll sing hallelujah We'll sing hallelujah Oh
So you've been out numbered
Raided, out cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
You're getting stronger now find things they never found
They might be better but we're faster
And never scared
You can walk away say that we don't need this
There's something in your eyes says we can beat this
Because these things will change we can feel it now
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution it's how we'll become who we're
We'll sing hallelujah We'll sing hallelujah Oh
Tonight we're standing on our feet to fight for what we worked
For all these years the battle of long it's the fight of our lives
We'll stand up champions tonight
And it's the night things changed
We can see it now these walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution throw your hands up
Cause we never gave in
We'll sing hallelujah We'll sang hallelujah
Hallelujah
8.10.2008
Clarity
Apparently this is something I have to say. I hate that things have been misinterpreted but since they have been I suppose I will clarify things.
I have not "declared my atheism". That is the concensus of what I have said on here about my religious beliefs.
I am just at a place of uncertainty in my life, thats not to say that I don't believe, I just am not sure.
Some of you will argue you if you don't know if you believe than you're an atheist but an atheist is someone who rejects religion and doesn't care. I do care and it's not that I'm neccessarily rejecting it I am just not embracing it because of the uncertainty I am experiencing.
I hate that I am writing a blog on this topic along but some of the readers who have stumbled onto my page, interpretted it for themselves and shared.
So I thought you all should know that that is where I am. I don't want or need to be judged. This is a personal subject matter, in which, I have to figure out for myself.
Thanks,
xoabbyt.
I have not "declared my atheism". That is the concensus of what I have said on here about my religious beliefs.
I am just at a place of uncertainty in my life, thats not to say that I don't believe, I just am not sure.
Some of you will argue you if you don't know if you believe than you're an atheist but an atheist is someone who rejects religion and doesn't care. I do care and it's not that I'm neccessarily rejecting it I am just not embracing it because of the uncertainty I am experiencing.
I hate that I am writing a blog on this topic along but some of the readers who have stumbled onto my page, interpretted it for themselves and shared.
So I thought you all should know that that is where I am. I don't want or need to be judged. This is a personal subject matter, in which, I have to figure out for myself.
Thanks,
xoabbyt.
8.09.2008
Life's Q&A
Well I have officially survived a week of my senior year. I wish it was the last week of school though. I have exactly 169 school days left. Is it sad that I am counting? I am just so ready for my college experience. I would love to rush and be in a sorrority, there's just something so enticing about it. No, not the parties and alcohol--that's not really my scene--but the idea of that kind of bond, that sisterhood just really makes me want to be apart of a tradition like that. Unless I am rejected, which I hope to dear life I am not, I am pretty positive about UK. It just seems to be a real fit for me. I could go on and on about this subject, and maybe one blog I will but just not right now. Sorry for all you so eager to read nothing but pages about my love for UK.
My cousin, who is more like my sister, is pretty set on WKU. I am upset that we probably won't end up together but she will have to come home to Lexington sometime and when she does we will most definitely spend some quality time together. She has been my rock through so much. During all of this college madness she has helped to hold me accountable and really made me question my logic. This once again is something I could write pages about, so I won't bore you. I will just say she is my sister, my best friend, and my hero. I don't really know where or who I'd be without her.
Even though the school year is just beginning homework has already been coming my way. I have quizzes and tests next week. It's going to be a challenging year, but I have a feeling it will also be very rewarding. I am stepping out of my comfort zone in many ways to really get the full high school experience, mine has always been slightly atypical. I really enjoy my teachers this year. They are all really wonderful instructors and I know they are going to teach me so much. I am actually looking forward to learning this year. I think this is the first year where everything is not going to feel like a review. It's the real deal, it's new, it's a challenge, an adventure.
In English we are doing this really long author project and I picked J.D. Salinger. His most notable work is Catcher in the Rye. I have started reading it and I really enjoy it. I am really impressed by the protagonist, Holden Caufield. He just has the voice, this undeniable presence and identity that steals your attention, drawing you deeper and deeper into the pages. It's really remarkable actually. I look forward to finishing it and getting to read some of his shorter works. He wrote many short stories and I can only choose 5-7 so it will be tough deciding. I think Salinger has such a unique style. He really create his story from the first word of the first page.
I know this blog, like all of my blogs, is really unrelated and random. I apologize and now continue.
I am so excited for my high schools football team to start this season. I got into football last year while I was gone to the academy and so now I want to go and cheer my school on. I also may attend my first school dance this year. I just have never really had the urge to go all that much.
I was thinking about dreams the other night right before I fell asleep. It was so unusual. I can remember this one dream I had the night before I went to disneyworld for the first time when I was five. I can remember at least one image from every dream I have had. I don't know why but I can. I usually have 2 or 3 dreams a week, I am glad I do. I think I sleep better when I have them.
I saw the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2 yesterday, I liked it but I wasn't blown over by it. I think it could have had more action, more comedy, and better transitions. Tonight I am going to watch Jr. Miss. I am so nervous to see who will win. There are only a few girls that Im not really supporting but otherwise I am really unbiased as to who wins. I dont know if thats the right word choice but Im going with it.
Fallon and I hung out again yesterday. It was so much fun. We came to my house and were being dumb as usual. Fallon started doing this real creepy bunny look with like this snake thing( how the slither there tongue out), it was scaring me so bad. We had this chase around the house until I locked her out. She sat in my car for a while writing me this lovely note and then we came back in. There was a lot more to it but its hard to explain. We don't fight, like I don't know if we can. We are so much a like its crazy. I nicknamed her bunny now, because her creepy face that she makes. She wrote me this note in class cause she got bored so I thought, hey I'll just write her on here:
Dear Bunny/Casey-Adrian lover,
You are amazing. I can't believe we get along so well. I hope your having fun with your mom tonight while shes in town. I also hope your legs arent hurting you from running. You note made me happy, I would love more notes :). I can't believe how many secrets you know. TOO MANY. I have some boy news for you, so lets chat soon. I hope your enjoying having internet on your laptop, your probably reading this relaxed in your bathtub right now. Hope you don't drop your laptop. Oh and Jaylen is sooo not cute. Mmk so like I said yesterday you're like my little sister so please don't settle for any punk. You deserve the best.
I love you!!
There you have it fallon, you have your own shout out.
I think that about covers everything, I can't immagine how long this blog is going to be. Sorry if I bored you. My life is not the most interesting to live, I'm sure it's not much more interesting on paper, well electronic paper, aka the internet. Okay so I'm shutting up now. Have a great weekend.
xoabbyt.
My cousin, who is more like my sister, is pretty set on WKU. I am upset that we probably won't end up together but she will have to come home to Lexington sometime and when she does we will most definitely spend some quality time together. She has been my rock through so much. During all of this college madness she has helped to hold me accountable and really made me question my logic. This once again is something I could write pages about, so I won't bore you. I will just say she is my sister, my best friend, and my hero. I don't really know where or who I'd be without her.
Even though the school year is just beginning homework has already been coming my way. I have quizzes and tests next week. It's going to be a challenging year, but I have a feeling it will also be very rewarding. I am stepping out of my comfort zone in many ways to really get the full high school experience, mine has always been slightly atypical. I really enjoy my teachers this year. They are all really wonderful instructors and I know they are going to teach me so much. I am actually looking forward to learning this year. I think this is the first year where everything is not going to feel like a review. It's the real deal, it's new, it's a challenge, an adventure.
In English we are doing this really long author project and I picked J.D. Salinger. His most notable work is Catcher in the Rye. I have started reading it and I really enjoy it. I am really impressed by the protagonist, Holden Caufield. He just has the voice, this undeniable presence and identity that steals your attention, drawing you deeper and deeper into the pages. It's really remarkable actually. I look forward to finishing it and getting to read some of his shorter works. He wrote many short stories and I can only choose 5-7 so it will be tough deciding. I think Salinger has such a unique style. He really create his story from the first word of the first page.
I know this blog, like all of my blogs, is really unrelated and random. I apologize and now continue.
I am so excited for my high schools football team to start this season. I got into football last year while I was gone to the academy and so now I want to go and cheer my school on. I also may attend my first school dance this year. I just have never really had the urge to go all that much.
I was thinking about dreams the other night right before I fell asleep. It was so unusual. I can remember this one dream I had the night before I went to disneyworld for the first time when I was five. I can remember at least one image from every dream I have had. I don't know why but I can. I usually have 2 or 3 dreams a week, I am glad I do. I think I sleep better when I have them.
I saw the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2 yesterday, I liked it but I wasn't blown over by it. I think it could have had more action, more comedy, and better transitions. Tonight I am going to watch Jr. Miss. I am so nervous to see who will win. There are only a few girls that Im not really supporting but otherwise I am really unbiased as to who wins. I dont know if thats the right word choice but Im going with it.
Fallon and I hung out again yesterday. It was so much fun. We came to my house and were being dumb as usual. Fallon started doing this real creepy bunny look with like this snake thing( how the slither there tongue out), it was scaring me so bad. We had this chase around the house until I locked her out. She sat in my car for a while writing me this lovely note and then we came back in. There was a lot more to it but its hard to explain. We don't fight, like I don't know if we can. We are so much a like its crazy. I nicknamed her bunny now, because her creepy face that she makes. She wrote me this note in class cause she got bored so I thought, hey I'll just write her on here:
Dear Bunny/Casey-Adrian lover,
You are amazing. I can't believe we get along so well. I hope your having fun with your mom tonight while shes in town. I also hope your legs arent hurting you from running. You note made me happy, I would love more notes :). I can't believe how many secrets you know. TOO MANY. I have some boy news for you, so lets chat soon. I hope your enjoying having internet on your laptop, your probably reading this relaxed in your bathtub right now. Hope you don't drop your laptop. Oh and Jaylen is sooo not cute. Mmk so like I said yesterday you're like my little sister so please don't settle for any punk. You deserve the best.
I love you!!
There you have it fallon, you have your own shout out.
I think that about covers everything, I can't immagine how long this blog is going to be. Sorry if I bored you. My life is not the most interesting to live, I'm sure it's not much more interesting on paper, well electronic paper, aka the internet. Okay so I'm shutting up now. Have a great weekend.
xoabbyt.
8.07.2008
Growing Pains
School is still going pretty well. I am so glad I switched into anatomy--it's so great! I have had a little homework, but not tonight thankfully! Today in English we had to write for 7 minutes straight. We had to start with When I write I... I had no idea what to wrote so I wrote just as randomly as I do on here. I told them...it...the paper...about all of you many readers haha. No, but seriously I said I like to write by blogging. Writing in pencil just isn't practical, my hand can't keep up...now my fingers their a whole different story. I had the worst hand cramps you can possibly immagine. You probably shouldn't say this on a blog, but right about now I'm having some pretty bad other monthly cramps.
So today in the hall this morning I was walking by and I saw my friend B. She's just a freshman this year. She gave me this look, that kind of look where you know something is wrong. So I said "B, What's up? Are you okay?' She stared for a second and then said yes. I said "Really?" Tears welled a little in her eyes then she came up to me and hugged me for a while and just said "Abby, I hate it here!" I told her I would give her a call tonight to see what's going on and maybe see if I can help.
Senior year is off to a good start for me. I am leaning heavily toward UK. My cousin, who is more like my sister, is not. She and I are super close. She had been town between UK and WKU as well. She went to tour WKU yesterday and is now head over heels. I'm not going to lie, the thought of being away from her for 4 years of college makes me want to cry. She moved away about a 1 1/2 ago. It kills me! I get to go see her in a couple of weeks though, I'm super excited. I really want her to be happy with her decision, but I'd like to get to see her everyday. I hope from now until about Dec. she'll really be considering each of them, unbiased. I don't think I'm likely to switch but you never know. I love her so much, and she will probably awe when she reads all of this but I just really hate the distance.
I know you have to grow up and grow apart sometime but it's not that we would lose our relationship, because we are family, but losing a frienship would be worse. That's like just saying your brother is your brother without being close to him. We have always been close so this just kind of breaks my heart. When we were on the phone just a few minutes ago discussing this I literally was about to cry and yet I was so angry. I just felt like there was nothing I could do, that this cause was hopeless. Things always fall into the right place eventually.
So remember my mention of Fallon in the last blog? Yeah well we're getting pretty tight.I hardly get to see her at school but I take her home most days. I remember riding the bus..I couldn't stand it. I absolutely hated it. Today we went to wendys and then went to my house to eat it. It's funny because Fallon hates girls. Like she doesn't like to have many as friends so the fact that she even likes me for a friend is odd. We have never fought or anything. We hung out at my house laughing and doing whatever. Talking about anything and everything. Then we went to get shaved ice. We went to Nick's because Fallon has a huge crush on Casey. We sat in my car in the parking lot listening to rap and dancing. All of the boys there were checking us out, it was so funny. Then I went to take her to her house and we had a great mixed cd in. When Taylor Swift's should of said no song came on we made up these movements and were cracking up laughing. I impersonated a screamo band and that just added to the laughter. Then we danced to I wanna love you. We swear we'll make youtube videos of it. Some how in the midst of that we ended up making up this really random handshake thing. It was the best therapy ever. I drove home smiling the whole way. I think I could hangout with her for days on end and not get sick of it. I may have a best friend :).
My dad is bringing home Penn Station--best place in the world to eat--so I think that sums it all up.
Growing up is tough and sucks. 16 to 25 are the most critical years of your life. You become who you will be for the rest of your life. You decide your morals, your political party, your relgious beliefs, your sexuality, your husband, your dreams, your job, and so much more. I'm at the beginning of creating myself and it is like being pinned between a rock and a hard place. Here's to hoping it all turns of for the best.
xoabbyt.
So today in the hall this morning I was walking by and I saw my friend B. She's just a freshman this year. She gave me this look, that kind of look where you know something is wrong. So I said "B, What's up? Are you okay?' She stared for a second and then said yes. I said "Really?" Tears welled a little in her eyes then she came up to me and hugged me for a while and just said "Abby, I hate it here!" I told her I would give her a call tonight to see what's going on and maybe see if I can help.
Senior year is off to a good start for me. I am leaning heavily toward UK. My cousin, who is more like my sister, is not. She and I are super close. She had been town between UK and WKU as well. She went to tour WKU yesterday and is now head over heels. I'm not going to lie, the thought of being away from her for 4 years of college makes me want to cry. She moved away about a 1 1/2 ago. It kills me! I get to go see her in a couple of weeks though, I'm super excited. I really want her to be happy with her decision, but I'd like to get to see her everyday. I hope from now until about Dec. she'll really be considering each of them, unbiased. I don't think I'm likely to switch but you never know. I love her so much, and she will probably awe when she reads all of this but I just really hate the distance.
I know you have to grow up and grow apart sometime but it's not that we would lose our relationship, because we are family, but losing a frienship would be worse. That's like just saying your brother is your brother without being close to him. We have always been close so this just kind of breaks my heart. When we were on the phone just a few minutes ago discussing this I literally was about to cry and yet I was so angry. I just felt like there was nothing I could do, that this cause was hopeless. Things always fall into the right place eventually.
So remember my mention of Fallon in the last blog? Yeah well we're getting pretty tight.I hardly get to see her at school but I take her home most days. I remember riding the bus..I couldn't stand it. I absolutely hated it. Today we went to wendys and then went to my house to eat it. It's funny because Fallon hates girls. Like she doesn't like to have many as friends so the fact that she even likes me for a friend is odd. We have never fought or anything. We hung out at my house laughing and doing whatever. Talking about anything and everything. Then we went to get shaved ice. We went to Nick's because Fallon has a huge crush on Casey. We sat in my car in the parking lot listening to rap and dancing. All of the boys there were checking us out, it was so funny. Then I went to take her to her house and we had a great mixed cd in. When Taylor Swift's should of said no song came on we made up these movements and were cracking up laughing. I impersonated a screamo band and that just added to the laughter. Then we danced to I wanna love you. We swear we'll make youtube videos of it. Some how in the midst of that we ended up making up this really random handshake thing. It was the best therapy ever. I drove home smiling the whole way. I think I could hangout with her for days on end and not get sick of it. I may have a best friend :).
My dad is bringing home Penn Station--best place in the world to eat--so I think that sums it all up.
Growing up is tough and sucks. 16 to 25 are the most critical years of your life. You become who you will be for the rest of your life. You decide your morals, your political party, your relgious beliefs, your sexuality, your husband, your dreams, your job, and so much more. I'm at the beginning of creating myself and it is like being pinned between a rock and a hard place. Here's to hoping it all turns of for the best.
xoabbyt.
8.05.2008
CalcKILLus
My first day of my Senior year of High School...oh the joys. Today was super dumb. When I got to school I got to park in reserved, which is so much closer to the door. I saw some friends and we sat in the car jamming out to music until the bell was about to ring.
I sat in homeroom for almost an hour, doing nothing as usual. Our homeroom was 29 to begin with now we have 16. Everyone has their own locker we have that few of people.
Next we had a short 1st period which all we did was listen to the teacher talk on and on. This was Art 1 so I mean really there can't be that much to really talk about.
Onto Ap English 4, well the teacher was awesome. Mrs. Williams was hillarious and very nice. I think I'll really enjoy her, as for the class I'm still a bit wary of it. I am taking part 1 and part 2 at the same time back to back so it gets really very confusing. I think it will make me a much better writer though. I know I make lots of grammatical as well as spelling errors on here. I don't really mind when I'm trying to just get things out of my head.
I went to the dreaded Calculus for my 4th period(which happens to be a block). We got to eat first lunch, oh how I missed school food (I hope you caught the hint of sarcasm). When we got back to class he gave us work to get started on. One of the worksheets wasn't so bad you typed something in your calculator, it gave you a picture, you draw the picture. The second one was a lot more challenging. It was suppose to be review, I made it through 6 problems only because I kept asking for help. He told us that tomorrow we would receive a large packet. I shuddered at the thought so...
My 5th period I am my homeroom teacher's teacher aide. I told her about my last class and how I would love to get out of there. I went to my counselor told her how I though I might just die and low-and-behold she changed my schedule. It also my conflict with application process stuff. I got the class I wanted Anatomy, until christmas, and then Foods & Nuitrition. I am looking really forward to both of them. I think they will be 10x better than calculus.
As for 6th we already began on a packet as well. I have Organic Chemistry and on the first day we had a substitute. I was kind of dissapointed but it's alright. There are only 9 people in that class so it's really fun. 4 girls 5 boys.
That was my first day of senior year, exciting I know?
As for my senior pictures I took yesterday I think they went well. I hope he does a lovely editing job so they turn out looking wonderful. I get to see them in a week! My friend Am's turned out awesome! I hope mine look as good.
I don't know if I had discussed with all you dedicated readers the best friend delema but there is on or was. I mean I have really close friends but not that BEST friend that you call for everything. I think Taryn, Shelby, and Ali are my closest friends but Fallon is quickly becoming one as well. Although we just met this summer she is so much fun to be around. We went to sonic after school today, it was awesome. I can't believe how alike we are.
As for other rants...
I am trying to figure out what clubs to join.
I hate having homework the very first day.
I still dont have my new debit card.
I think my new beliefs may soon be out of the woodwork.
I am super excited for seeing Sisterhood of the travelling pants 2 with my mom this friday and the Jr. Miss pagent on saturday.
I think thats about it so as for me I've got homework to get started on.
xoabby t.
I sat in homeroom for almost an hour, doing nothing as usual. Our homeroom was 29 to begin with now we have 16. Everyone has their own locker we have that few of people.
Next we had a short 1st period which all we did was listen to the teacher talk on and on. This was Art 1 so I mean really there can't be that much to really talk about.
Onto Ap English 4, well the teacher was awesome. Mrs. Williams was hillarious and very nice. I think I'll really enjoy her, as for the class I'm still a bit wary of it. I am taking part 1 and part 2 at the same time back to back so it gets really very confusing. I think it will make me a much better writer though. I know I make lots of grammatical as well as spelling errors on here. I don't really mind when I'm trying to just get things out of my head.
I went to the dreaded Calculus for my 4th period(which happens to be a block). We got to eat first lunch, oh how I missed school food (I hope you caught the hint of sarcasm). When we got back to class he gave us work to get started on. One of the worksheets wasn't so bad you typed something in your calculator, it gave you a picture, you draw the picture. The second one was a lot more challenging. It was suppose to be review, I made it through 6 problems only because I kept asking for help. He told us that tomorrow we would receive a large packet. I shuddered at the thought so...
My 5th period I am my homeroom teacher's teacher aide. I told her about my last class and how I would love to get out of there. I went to my counselor told her how I though I might just die and low-and-behold she changed my schedule. It also my conflict with application process stuff. I got the class I wanted Anatomy, until christmas, and then Foods & Nuitrition. I am looking really forward to both of them. I think they will be 10x better than calculus.
As for 6th we already began on a packet as well. I have Organic Chemistry and on the first day we had a substitute. I was kind of dissapointed but it's alright. There are only 9 people in that class so it's really fun. 4 girls 5 boys.
That was my first day of senior year, exciting I know?
As for my senior pictures I took yesterday I think they went well. I hope he does a lovely editing job so they turn out looking wonderful. I get to see them in a week! My friend Am's turned out awesome! I hope mine look as good.
I don't know if I had discussed with all you dedicated readers the best friend delema but there is on or was. I mean I have really close friends but not that BEST friend that you call for everything. I think Taryn, Shelby, and Ali are my closest friends but Fallon is quickly becoming one as well. Although we just met this summer she is so much fun to be around. We went to sonic after school today, it was awesome. I can't believe how alike we are.
As for other rants...
I am trying to figure out what clubs to join.
I hate having homework the very first day.
I still dont have my new debit card.
I think my new beliefs may soon be out of the woodwork.
I am super excited for seeing Sisterhood of the travelling pants 2 with my mom this friday and the Jr. Miss pagent on saturday.
I think thats about it so as for me I've got homework to get started on.
xoabby t.
8.03.2008
Oh My Jonas
My little adventure was great. I spent the last 24 hours in a town about an hour and half away. When I got there I stopped by coldstone where a firend of mine works, it was so great getting to see her again. We practically have matching hair cuts now.
Then I went to O'Charley's, a great restaurant, and met up with some more of my friends. I hadn't seen any of them since april. It was so great! I ordered a steak for the second night in a row. What can I say, I'm a big fan of steak! Afterwards me and my friend J, we went on an ALE 8 hunt. Ale 8 is the softdrink of KY. They only carry it in certain gas stations. After the 4th try we found it. I was so excited. Then we went to this great donut place and got some donuts.
We went to her house to crash for the night but we stayed up for a good long while talking. It turned into a huge cry-fest. I had told her that I wasn't really sure where I stand on religion right now. I don't think I consider myself a christian or anything right now. I am working on whether or not I even believe there is a God. It's a complicated situation, I don't feel like blogging the rest of the time about it. It broke her heart to know that's where I was at though.
When we got up it was 1 this afternoon, we had stayed up really late (3:30 am). We went to this great japanese place. It's a cheap one too! The food was amazing. The terakyi chicken was fabulous but so were the steamed veggies. We got starbucks and went to see another friend of ours. Later we went back to her house and burned so great music. I burned 3 mixed cds plus the Camp Rock sountrack, Flyleaf, and The Jonas Brothers (Joe is my man...hands off!) Although I do think Nick has the better voice. This another subject I could go on forever about...oh Jonas Brothers--they make my heart smile, as cliche that sounds.
My drive home I was super tired. I am getting ready for senior pictures tomorrow and school on tuesday. Its my last first day. I am kind of nervous. I am working on getting everything together and doing everything that needs to be done within the next day. AHHH!
So that's whats been going on, not to interesting I suppose. I guess by Wednesday there will be more to say.
If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting, and by meeting I mean hearing, the Jonas Brothers you should really get on that.
xoabby t.
Then I went to O'Charley's, a great restaurant, and met up with some more of my friends. I hadn't seen any of them since april. It was so great! I ordered a steak for the second night in a row. What can I say, I'm a big fan of steak! Afterwards me and my friend J, we went on an ALE 8 hunt. Ale 8 is the softdrink of KY. They only carry it in certain gas stations. After the 4th try we found it. I was so excited. Then we went to this great donut place and got some donuts.
We went to her house to crash for the night but we stayed up for a good long while talking. It turned into a huge cry-fest. I had told her that I wasn't really sure where I stand on religion right now. I don't think I consider myself a christian or anything right now. I am working on whether or not I even believe there is a God. It's a complicated situation, I don't feel like blogging the rest of the time about it. It broke her heart to know that's where I was at though.
When we got up it was 1 this afternoon, we had stayed up really late (3:30 am). We went to this great japanese place. It's a cheap one too! The food was amazing. The terakyi chicken was fabulous but so were the steamed veggies. We got starbucks and went to see another friend of ours. Later we went back to her house and burned so great music. I burned 3 mixed cds plus the Camp Rock sountrack, Flyleaf, and The Jonas Brothers (Joe is my man...hands off!) Although I do think Nick has the better voice. This another subject I could go on forever about...oh Jonas Brothers--they make my heart smile, as cliche that sounds.
My drive home I was super tired. I am getting ready for senior pictures tomorrow and school on tuesday. Its my last first day. I am kind of nervous. I am working on getting everything together and doing everything that needs to be done within the next day. AHHH!
So that's whats been going on, not to interesting I suppose. I guess by Wednesday there will be more to say.
If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting, and by meeting I mean hearing, the Jonas Brothers you should really get on that.
xoabby t.
8.02.2008
Leggo my Eggo
Today has been pretty normal...
Woke up late, watched episodes of Brothers and sisters, then went to my grandparents. My brother and sister-in-law were out there. I jump at every chance I get to see them now. I ate some awesome cantelope and corn on the cob best 2 summer foods ever.
For the first time in my life my brother and I threw the football around in the back yard. We played for a good 20 or 30 minutes in the miserable heat. He said I had a really good arm, I was so excited. At the very end he went down to hike the ball and I caught it. I made a full on sprint to the other side of the yard, slammed the ball down, and yelled "TOUCHDOWN!!!" Not to mention I did my touchdown dance. It was so much fun. I never played with him much as a kid since we were close to 8 years apart so it's nice to now.
I came home and there was my dad. He had been out picking corn and shucking it all day. My mom had given me permission to go stay the night down in another town with my friends who I hadnt seen since april. When I told him I was going he was upset that I hadnt gotten his permission and said I couldnt go. Tears immeadiately welled in my eyes. He started saying "Now don't get theatrical on me." He reassured me he was just joking, but in a very unreassured voice. I turned to walk in the house and walked up stairs to take my shower I was sobbing hysterically. Even in the shower I stepped in, put the water on ice cold, turn the radio up loud and just sobbed. I havent really cried just to cry in a long time. I though maybe something was wrong but then I knew my body just had a lot of emotion to release. It felt so good. I was using this tea tree shampoo and the aroma began to calm me down and I just felt a million times better. My chest feels so clear and breathing seems easier than ever. I hated that I felt like my dad had caused that but after I realized that wasnt so I forgave myself and just let myself cry as much as I need.
ps once I was done crying, still in the shower, I danced :)
Now I am going to pack up and head down to see my friends for the night.
If you ever begin to cry, sometimes its just best to let the tears come as they may.
xoabby t.
Woke up late, watched episodes of Brothers and sisters, then went to my grandparents. My brother and sister-in-law were out there. I jump at every chance I get to see them now. I ate some awesome cantelope and corn on the cob best 2 summer foods ever.
For the first time in my life my brother and I threw the football around in the back yard. We played for a good 20 or 30 minutes in the miserable heat. He said I had a really good arm, I was so excited. At the very end he went down to hike the ball and I caught it. I made a full on sprint to the other side of the yard, slammed the ball down, and yelled "TOUCHDOWN!!!" Not to mention I did my touchdown dance. It was so much fun. I never played with him much as a kid since we were close to 8 years apart so it's nice to now.
I came home and there was my dad. He had been out picking corn and shucking it all day. My mom had given me permission to go stay the night down in another town with my friends who I hadnt seen since april. When I told him I was going he was upset that I hadnt gotten his permission and said I couldnt go. Tears immeadiately welled in my eyes. He started saying "Now don't get theatrical on me." He reassured me he was just joking, but in a very unreassured voice. I turned to walk in the house and walked up stairs to take my shower I was sobbing hysterically. Even in the shower I stepped in, put the water on ice cold, turn the radio up loud and just sobbed. I havent really cried just to cry in a long time. I though maybe something was wrong but then I knew my body just had a lot of emotion to release. It felt so good. I was using this tea tree shampoo and the aroma began to calm me down and I just felt a million times better. My chest feels so clear and breathing seems easier than ever. I hated that I felt like my dad had caused that but after I realized that wasnt so I forgave myself and just let myself cry as much as I need.
ps once I was done crying, still in the shower, I danced :)
Now I am going to pack up and head down to see my friends for the night.
If you ever begin to cry, sometimes its just best to let the tears come as they may.
xoabby t.
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