Torn at the Crossroads

Where to begin? I cannot believe in 9 days I will be moved in at UK, that is so exciting. There is so much to talk about so this could take awhile.

I am doing very well in my spanish class. For the past two tests I have had the highest grade in the class which has truly amazed me. I learned nothing for HCHS spanish...and I took it 2 years ago so it's a miracle. I am really enjoying it though, I just hope SPA 102 at UK doesn't masacre me. I will also be volunteering at Maxwell Elementary this semester, which is a Spanish Immersion school. Half of the curriculum is taught to the students in spanish, by the time they leave for middle school they are fluent in spanish. I can't wait to have a glimpse into the program.

K-Week at UK is going to be amazing there is so much to do, I can't believe it's almost here. I still have so much to do in so little time. I need to get my A-game back on.

This week I am helping out at the local elementary school, east heights. I really love kids and so I am shadowing a teacher to see if it's something I could see myself doing.

So I am having an epiphany about Love. That I have a complete and total fear of it. Not just in relationships but in the spirtual way as well. I am going to attempt to be vulnerable and just be myself, being open to the possibility of love from others in relationships. I am also going to try to begin to fall in love with Jesus for the first time. I just recently was able to admit a secret I had been carrying, I had never read the gospels. So last night after watching southland's first week of the IT series, which might I say really opened the eyes of my heart even more, I began reading the first two chapters of Matthew. You can view the southland IT series here: http://www.southlandchristian.org/media/series/it/ well worth your time. I also bought a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan that I am giving a chance. I want to experience that imtimate one-on-one with Jesus, my heavenly father, my Creator.

Now onto the Crossroads... can you guess what it could possibly be about? We've covered school, jesus, the only thing left is...boys. So I'm between a rock and hard place basically. I have a really tough decision to make. You see I am standing at this crossroads, there are two roads. One is a lot longer, but it could end in a cliff and its pretty bumpy...it has a rough past. I don't know whether to trust that road to get me safely to end or if it could end up damaging me. The other road is fairly short and new, it looks as if there are hardly any flaws. I don't know if this road will go very far or if it will make me happier in the long run. So which road do I take? Which do I choose? I would go down both if I could but I can't. And is this the time you "take the road less traveled by" and go for the bumpy ride, but have the robert frost ending "...and it made all the difference." Do you try something that looks too good to be true? Someone please give me some solid and sound adivce.

xoabbyt.

Chronicles of an Insomniac

Well the summer is truly passing be by, I have a mere 3 weeks left to enjoy. I will be sad to see it go, but I am also way excited for UK. I have my roommate, my dorm, most of the things I need, my schedule, a job everything. Since I'm so excited I'll share details.

My roommate is a really sweet girl, we've talked a little. She is from GA not far from ATL so it will be awesome to get her perspective on KY. We didn't really go random, but basically. We found each other through the UK 2013 group, there was a roommate survey and we both wanted to be in the same dorms so it worked out.

We got in our first choice, Donovan. It's all girls, which I am excited about, most people look at me like a crazy person for CHOOSING to live there. A big benefit, it has The Underground...a complete gym in our basement, I am stoked about that.

Dorm supply shopping has been fun I don't have much left to get. I still need a printer, a fridge, and clothes. Otherwise I will be packing the last of my things in the next couple of weeks in preparation.

I finally finalized my schedule, after 10-20 changes...I kid you not. I am taking all 100 level classes so it shouldn't kill me even though it'll be 18 hours worth.

I also went up to Lexington a couple weeks ago for a job interview on campus, I got the job. I will be working at Ovid's Cafe in the library 2 days a week for 14 hours. It will be extra money and I hope to save as much of it as possible, I'm a big saver :).

So everythings in place just waiting in anticipation, man I can't wait!

Other than college stuff nothing else is really new, Marshalls is still...Marshalls ha! Boys...let's not go there...ever. It's just not a public topic really and it's not really all that exciting. Since ex-boy and I broke up I haven't dated anyone else if that says anything, a year and half. My spanish class is pretty fun and also pretty easy which is great. I hope I'll be prepared for 102 in the fall at UK.

Otherwise life is the same. I think it's about to get pretty crazy these next few weeks, I'll try to stay up to date.

xoabbyt.

The Joy is in This Place

Also at that time, people will say, "Look at what's happened! This is our God! We waited for him and he showed up and saved us! This God, the one we waited for! Let's celebrate, sing the joys of his salvation. God's hand rests on this mountain!"

Isaiah 25:9

Praise be to the King of Kings, that's all there is to say. Again and again, over and over, a million times declare it. God has blessed me immeasurably these past couple of months, after what seems like season after seaon of trials and darkness in my life. But finally there is light, there is laughter, and there is praise. I have to confess before Aug. 08 I wasn't being real with God, I wasn't giving him my all. I didn't treat him as a bride should her husband, as a friend should treat another-- not until August. Even when that moment in August arrived it was extremely hard to lay down 17 and half years worth of "stuff," just useless junk I had built my life on and filled my heart with. But slowly the Potter remolded my heart, remolding the clay of my heart. I got it right this time, building on Jesus walking with him daily. It is a real relationship with intimate moments shared between just the two of us and I love getting to share every moment of every day with Him. The remolding of my heart took me through some extremely trying times in my life. I thought I had seen the darkest days in my life just one year exactly before this life-changing event, but this broke my spirit and soul and crushed my heart. I felt the flame I had burning for Jesus was nothing but embers and then I realized that He was all I had left and began clinging with all that I had left of my heart, spirit, and soul. When I made the decision to allow him to heal me and see me in my brokeness he held me like a father hold's a child for the first time, and whispered that it would all be okay (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). I couldn't whole-heartedly believe this promise but I trusted my Jesus still. I knew that there was a reason and a purpose for these darkened days, there was going to be a rainbow after the storm. After I was able to begin dealing with people again, I made the decision to seek counseling. I saw a counselor from December until March every week. I also was put on anti-depressants which were the best thing for me at the time. I continued my daily walk with my Savior and began slowly to adapting again to the social world around me. God was doing things in me I wasn't even realizing, but he was giving me strength, His strength (Ephesians 3:16). He pieced my heart back together in four short months, in the arrangement He would have it. He rejuvinated my soul, refreshing it with His holy words and promises. But most of all he changed my spirit, for God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). In March, just before my 18th birthday, I talked to my counselor and doctor and came to an agreement...it was time to come off of the anti-depessants. In those three months without anti-depressants, life has been good--scratch that--great! I have been the happiest I think I have ever been in my life. I believe that is thanks to Jesus and learning a good lesson, take in the small things they add up to the biggest things--like happiness. I love gorgeous Kentucky sunsets, praise songs, old couples taking walks together, waving at my neighbors, smiling at customers, birds that fly and chirp, the fountains at the river front, my amazing family, running til sweat is running down my face, and waking up with a smile on my face every morning. Life is good thanks to so many people helping me through these hard times to make it to the good ones. Some of you didn't even know you were helping, but like I said it's the small things. So thank you, all of you. As for now, I have a new season in my life that is just beginning and it's looking rather bright and promising. I whole-heartedly trust God and the plans he has for my life (Jeremiah 29:11-13). This school-year I got to put a quote in the yearbook since I was a Senior, I chose a beautiful quote by Robert Frost: "If I can sum up everything I've learned about life in three words I would say: it goes on."

Again thank you to everyone who helped me make it through this year, I love you all. Remember tomorrows a new day, to take it the small things, and that there is hope. Praise God (Psalm 40)!


After looking at the way things are on this earth, here's what I've decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that's about it. That's the human lot. Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what's given and delighting in the work. It's God's gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now. It's useless to brood over how long we might live.

Ecclesiastes 5:18

Love love love

I have never posted twice in one day. But today is special! I finally set up a YOUTUBE account. That's right friends I just now got one. I have never really watched anything on there. So I surfed and found some cool vid's and then using my webcam attempted my own. They aren't awful, just slightly awkward since they are my first. But they will get better. And there will be more! I am excited, I will officially be a blogger and vlogger how ultra techy am I...or is that just ultra nerdy maybe they are the same who knows. But if you ever want to see some of my personal favorite vid's or actually hear my voice and see me giving you an update you can check that out over at:
www.youtube.com/abbytaylove

So come check it out sometime.

xoabbyt.

'Cause it's a winding road...I still have hope...We're gonna find our way home

I was told I haven't blogged lately, which is pretty true but I have been crazy busy but I guess I should still keep some updates posted on my life. So I guess I'll try to keep up a little better than once a month, eek.

Updates, hmm where to begin:
It is official that my parents will be getting a divorce. My dad moved out about a week ago and is living in his own apartment and my mom is finally back in the house after a little over two months. I am okay with that but I know it will be hard on both of them and it will be a struggle to support me through the next 3 or 4 years of college.

It's also official that I am the worse advisee, ever! I scheduled almost a month ago and since then have changed my schedule close to 5 times, she must hate me. But my tuition money is paying for her, so at least it isn't for nothing.

My dad is recovered pretty well from his heart attack. He was walking and talking through the whole thing about two weeks ago but he had to stay in the hospital for 3 days and get a stint but he is doing much better. He knows he has to make some lifestyle changes, I hope he does them instead of wasting the knowledge.

My dad doesn't have the greatest health genes in the world, actually close to the worst which is why I have promised myself to be healthy. I have shed 45 lbs since october 2008. I was in 16's and bulging about to be in 18's when I knew that I couldn't stand being that weight any more, nor was it good for my health with my health history playing against me. So I am now in 12's and 10's, to be at a healthy BMI which is my goal I have 21 more lbs to go. I would love to lose a little more than that so that I'm not constantly one or two lbs away from being overweight but right now I just want to make that 21 lb mark hopefully by august. I am trying to reduce my cholesterol as well, it wasn't awful but it could definitely be better so I have been working on that. I just hope that in the long run it gives me some sort of advantage in not having half his health issues.

I had an amazing trip to WKU the past 2 and half days. I arrived midday monday and stayed midday wednesday. I saw almost everyone I was hoping to see, which makes me really happy. It was so great to see everyone after being apart for so long. I also met a couple new friends which is always exciting, one of my favorite things so I also enjoyed that. I loved staying with my best friend Taryn and then with my long time friend Bethany. I loved having so much time to have quiet time with Jesus to be one on one and talk to him and get in the Word. This week I have been learning and trying to understand and comprehend and accept God's grace. I heard a lot of opinions on what exactly God's grace is and I also was introduced to some awesome scripture that really captured my heart. I love The Message's translation of 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 and John 9:1-3. I have gained some wisdom and opened my heart to learning more and allowing God to show me grace in His own way. I know I don't deserve grace but I know I desperately need it.

I am leaving for UK in the morning to go hang out and get a feel for my future school. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I hope it's great :)!

I think that's about all the updates I have for now. I will try to do better I promise.

xoabbyt.